Things That Make Us Special

 When I'd been a teen, one of my closest friends told me that she wakes up every morning, looks at her reflection in the mirror and tells herself: "I am special. Only special things will happen to me." 

At that point, I had found it a little odd that one might call oneself special. Is that not something on the verge of arrogance? Why must we tell ourselves we are special? That's what the world around is supposed to recognize and acknowledge on their own. LOL. (Talk about operating from a place of modesty! HAHA!)

A few days ago, while I was walking to get in my heart points on Google Fit, I was listening to this Headspace podcast where they spoke about comparison being the rott of most evil. Needless to say, I fully agree that comparison is the reason why we never seem to be satisfied with who we are or what we have. When we compare ourselves to others, we compare our inner life with the others' outer lives - apples and oranges. We do not know how these lives are being lived in totality: we only see that one photo on social media, and that one happy memory they choose to tell us when they see us at a party. 

The way out of comparison woes, the Headspace experts said, is to see why we are they way we are. What unique circumstances have led us to this point? Why did we make the choices we are living through today? Why do we have that loan? Why do we have this job? (Probably because of that loan, but you get the gist!)

The answers slowly lead us to understand that we have chosen to live a certain way because of what makes us special - we are not the same people as those we are comparing ourselves with. So these comparisons do not merit any further thought. We cannot compare our life with these other lives because we have been chosen to live this "special" life. 

This brought me back to my friend and her daily affirmations. So, I wondered what made me special. Couldn't come up with much, so I thought I will write this down. While different and special do not mean the same thing, I thought I will begin with what makes me different:

1. Living in a part of the country where I was not born or raised has imbued me with a very different internal life. People in big cities often suffer from mind-numbing displays of wealth, sex and substance usage (and abuse) from the time that they are teens. However, all my life until I was a young adult, small-town me was acknowledged as the brightest in the room, with the highest potential. That was my superpower (LOL!) This is what gave me a kind of confidence which I find holds me in good stead even today. When I decide something or make a selection out of choices presented to me, I know that it comes from the place where things have been thought through, and even if things go wrong, my internal locus of control will figure out a way forward. This definitely makes me "special", no?

2. Always being an outsider can make you learn how to make connections with even a dull damaged wall. I never quite belonged anywhere. Even today, I can hardly say I belong to a particular region or a nation or a school of thought. I carry a little bit of practically everyone I have known reasonably well. I carry a little bit of every single place I have lived. I carry a little bit of all the cultures I was surrounded by when I was raised as the small town girl I still am deep inside. This sense of belonging to everything while belonging to nothing has created this space inside me to hold all kinds of thoughts and to hold them with grace. I can talk to anyone, I can make them confide in me and I can inspire trust in any situation, once I put my head to it. This is definitely a "special" trait, I hope. 

3. Bluntness has never quite evaded me. I usually find people around me saying that they find it hard to say what they mean to others, especially when it is loved ones, or in tense work situations. I have somehow, so far, managed to call a spade a spade. It is hard. It requires courage. But, I recognized, even as kid, that what needed to be said really needed saying it out aloud and to the people who influence what was being discussed. I am still not quite sure how this is received, and I know some people find me difficult to deal with because I say things they think should just be thought (LOL!) but, here we are. In my humble opinion, this is "special" for sure. 

Okay, there you have it. Why feeling special is important and three things that make me special. Haha! This was a bit of a trip, I will admit as much.